I did a Saturday morning job in Wandsworth. There were 10 window boxes on three floors of a great big house, so I got to the Homebase across the bridge when it opened and filled the van with bedding plants - purple, silver and yellow. The final effect was pretty good but it was a heck of an ordeal carrying it out. Every window had to have furniture moved away from it, and window locks removed. I had to lug buckets of fresh compost around, trying not to knock the antiques. Each window box had to have the old plants and soil removed and new compost shoveled in before I could plant. It was almost impossible not to make a mess. I had to stand in the bath to do the bathroom windowsill, moving a forest of Jo Malone bottles first.
Then it all had to be watered.
I thought it was all done and was about to go, then saw to my horror that the white-painted front of the house was streaked with black soil that had been leeched out of the containers by my watering. I had to clamber around leaning out of windows with a cloth wiping the house down before they noticed.
They seemed happy enough, and asked if I’d like a Maison Blanc cake to take away with me. It looked fantastic – a chocolate work of art – and I accepted gratefully. As I left the woman said: “I’m glad you can use the cake, it’s yesterdays so we can’t risk it on the children.”
Later she phoned up to complain - about soil in the bath. I told her she’d poisoned me with a cake. I don’t think they’re going to become regular customers.
2006-10-09 @ 13:53