The bloody yucca has fallen over again. This happened the last time it flowered. So you get two flowerings in almost 25 years, followed by a major collapse.

This time it took an apple tree down with it – the feeble little Kids Orange Red that I bought as a replacement for the canker-prone Orange Pippin.

I dragged it upright and propped it against the fence like a drunk, but not before it had stabbed me twice in the hand and once in the head. It really is a vicious brute. Once again I found it had hardly any root, yet it’s very much alive, so I anchored it with a couple of bungees.

I just pray that the next time a burglar legs it down the back gardens he lands on the yucca when he leaps the fence. It would make it all worthwhile.